The Doctor Is In

The Poolroom has a couple of new services not generally associated with such an endeavor. Always known for the likelihood of getting any and all illnesses, afflictions, pains and disorders diagnosed, we have now gone into the actual practice of dentistry and pharmacology. It sort of happened by accident.

One evening some of the guys were lining up a golf game for the following day. This was a grudge match between BJ "What Can You Do" Caldwell and his partner Bert, against Kevin and Kenny. A week before one team had lost a buck to the other and the losers were in the mood for revenge. BJ probably hadn’t slept all week worrying about the buck…he’s pretty close to his money. As Hollywood says he’s tighter than two dicks in one rubber. Anyway while the discussion was going on about who was going to give what strokes to whom the guys were continuing to play bank and a few were having a few…beers that is.

Bert allowed as how he didn’t know if he could be able to play at all because he had a tooth-ache that was killing him. His dentist was out of town and it was going to cost $65 to get the tooth out if he was back in the office in the morning. "Really", he said. "I’m not joking. This thing is killing me."

About that time Big Phil asked him which tooth it was.

Bert pointed out an incisor on the right side.

Phil said he could pull it. Bert going along with him ask the bartender to hand him some pliers and sat down in one of the chairs along the wall. He leaned back, opened his mouth, and told Phil, "now the way the dentist does it is he puts the tool on the tooth and moves it in, then out, then down in one motion."

While Bert was explaining Phil was putting the pliers on the tooth. As Bert finished his spiel, Phil moved the pliers in, out, and down in one motion. The tooth came out and Bert’s eyes were the size of saucers. "Son of a bitch! You pulled my tooth!"

"I thought you wanted it pulled," said Phil.

Meanwhile the rest of the group was laughing their asses off, when Sandpaper came around the corner with a Hydro and a glass of water to ease the pain.

On reflection Bert said it didn’t hurt any more than the dentist does and he saved $65 that he used to buy a new putter. It didn’t help as they lost another $4 to Kevin and Kenny the next day. Since then BJ has given Bert an unconditional release and picked up Allen.

Phil has pulled another tooth, this time a molar from Willie. He didn’t get a pain pill but I think someone did offer him a balloon.